And then some day, they just come to me...

Someone took the trouble of posting a comment to an earlier Zen Reading. Since you asked...

Anonymous said...
what the hells wrong with you?

My Thoughts Elevating to a Higher Plane:

What do you mean, what the hells wrong with me? What the hells wrong with you? Hah--that's what we call debate where I come from...

What is wrong with me? Why can't I love like a normal man? Where did I go wrong? Oh wait, that's right--I'm a freak. I knew it was something.

I have one word for you, friend: Apostrophe. Give it a shot sometime.

Back to Work

Today’s Zen Reading:

A man walking across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger chasing after him. Coming to a cliff, he caught hold of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Terrified, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger had come, waiting to eat him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little began to gnaw away at the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

Zen Parable

My Thoughts Elevating to Another Plane:

That’s it? That’s all? Our story seems a little short on denouement, here…

Have you ever noticed that parables sound a lot like jokes? “This guy walks into a bar with a tiger and a couple of mice…”

And why are there so many tigers in these parables? You can’t swing a dead cat (pardon the expression) in a zen parable without hitting a tiger or three. Here’s some zen for you—move to a town that doesn't have tigers!

More importantly, this parable serves to show us that, no matter how bizarre and tortured the sequence of events must be (Tigers? Vines? Mice?), sometimes when you’re the strawberry, fate/God/karma simply screws you over.

Found Zen Reading--Letter to the Editor

DISCLAIMER: At the risk of harshing everyone's zen reading buzz, I have to point something out. While the attentive reader (or even the barely conscious reader) will notice a politically or socially biased comment from time to time in My Thoughts Elevating to a Higher Plane, I have no ideological axes to grind in these pages. Wingnuts and moonbats, chuzzleheads and dunderpulls, all are welcome at Zen Reading of the Day. Our allegiance is to the spiritual, transcendental enlightment that can be found in the Reading of Zen, and all petty human differences are as one beneath that grand purpose.

So, Bobby Paul, whoever you are, no law suits, please. We're searching for truth here, buddy, and you can't find truth without breaking a few eggs.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled Zen Reading.

The following letter to the editor was published in the San Antonio News-Express today (Aug 16).

Laws apply to everyone

Re: Ellen Goodman's column "Flawed logic leads gay marriage fight" (Aug. 9):

How is legislation "treating straight and gay citizens differently"? The same legislation that has been instituted has been written for all people in this country.

Logic tells me that a cry for "equal rights" is pushing a cause for "special rights." If gay marriage is more right than heterosexual marriage, why hasn't it been proven scientifically? The same logic also tells me that without a man and a woman, there would be no homosexual.

Bobby Paul

My Thoughts Elevating to a Higher Plane:

Well, I'll agree that logic states that "a cry for 'equal rights' is pushing a cause for 'special rights'" if we agree that when Mr Paul uses the word "logic," he means "half baked assertion that arrived through a painful rectal birth."

Why hasn't "it" been "proven scientifically"? Hmmm. Good question. I guess it all depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. Perhaps Mr Paul uses "it" to refer to the state of gay marriage being more "right" than heterosexual marriage, but that doesn't make sense because gay marriage is not currently legal here in the great state of Texas, and you don't need scientific proof to show that illegal situations are more "right" than legal situations. You need mind altering substances to make that case. (Which could explain a few things in Mr Paul's letter...)

"Logic" tells him that "without a man and a woman, there would be no homosexual." I can hear the conversation now: "Well, son, it's like this. When a man loves a woman, and they decide to spend the rest of their lives together, then a homosexual comes along. I know, Bobby, it's all kind of confusing, but you'll understand it when you grow up."

Is it possible that "Logic" is the name of the dog next door who talks to Mr Paul? If so, Mr Paul, it's OK to talk with Logic as long as you keep it political, but as soon as he starts dishing out his shit list and preferences for firearms, give the rest of us a bit of warning, OK?

Summer Vacation

Summer is over. Kids are going back to school, the leaves are turning.

Well, in my neighborhood, we don't have trees--thanks to builders whose first step is always bulldozing the acreage--but the shrubs are turning. And granted, it has more to do with the drought conditions around here than it does with the time of year, still, the leaves are turning, dammit!

And with these tell-tale signs that fall is approaching, slowly, lumbering... like a... thing... that lumbers... slowly... (fix it later), a not-as-young-as-he-once-was-but-then-again-who-is man's fancy turns back to Reading Zen.

How many posts will it last this time before the next lapse? If anyone wants to get a pool going, I call six. (Not counting this one.)

"The Decider": A Found Zen Reading

"I listen to all voices, but mine is the final decision," he said. "And Don Rumsfeld is doing a fine job. He's not only transforming the military, he's fighting a war on terror. He's helping us fight a war on terror. I have strong confidence in Don Rumsfeld.

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."


My Thoughts Elevating to a Higher Plane:

He listens to the voices. He hears the voices. You'll notice, though, that there is no reference to the origin of these voices. Are they real?

Shouldn't we all just be peeing all over ourselves with the reference to Rummy "doing a fine job"? Let's see.... Where have I heard that phrase before....?

He's the decider? I thought he was the uniter... We actually have a President who has said, "I'm a uniter, not a divider," and "I'm the decider"? What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on here? When did our bar for who can be President sink so low that someone who doesn't even know how to use the f*$&ing language could get a second term?

My head hurts.

It could be worse...

OK, I just came across some handy-dandy information about Pensacola Christian College in Pensacola, FL...

As helpful as The Little Zen Companion is, there are simply times when I feel as if the pressures of life have just beaten me down, and Zen Readings--inspirational though they may be--just can't lift me back up. Well, now, I have the Rules of Pensacola Christian College to remind me that, no matter how bad things get, it could be worse...

For example, all of the following rules are upheld at PCC:

Pants may not be "frayed" at the bottom. OK, I've been meaning to get new jeans anyway.

No jeans, or double-stitched pants. Oh, damn.

[Listed under "There is to be no"]: Profanity. Oh. Damn. Whoops. Damn. Whoops. Damn. OK, I'll just shut up now.

OK, so maybe I'll just read.

A large amount of magazines are considered pornography and are not allowed, including: Men's Health, Muscle&Fitness, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, etc.

OK, maybe I'll listen to music.

Music is limited to classical, hymns, accepted "new age" and instrumental, and that distinctive "PCC sound."

OK, then maybe I'll play some music. It'll be nice music, soft, full of praise, you'll like it.

[Also listed under "There is to be no:"] Playing of instruments (of any kind) in your room, or outside. The only place to play on campus is in the practice rooms.

OK.... So if I can't read my Muscle & Fitness, and if I can't play my guitar, maybe I'll just read a book.

You may not go to a public library.

OK, I guess I'll just sit here in my room. Good thing it's nice outside.

You may not open your window.

But it's stuffy in here!

You may not adjust your thermostat.

OK, fine! I'll just sit here and...

You may not wipe "boogers" on the wall.

Fine!

Found Zen Reading

Every once in a while, I come across something that isn't in The Little Zen Companion but that, darn it all, should be. For example, a friend related to me the following about a leadership development program that he and I both attended several years ago:

I took part in a telephone survey about the . . . training - very interesting. I was asked meaningful questions like "did you have a sense of fulsomness and capacity growth within yourself?" I have great humorous regard for "describe a situation where you used facilitative leadership to overcome personal and professional obstacles in an inclusive and reflective way".

My Thoughts Elevating to a Higher Plane:

Whenever I feel a sense of fulsomness and capacity growth within myself, I take a little Gas-X. Works every time.

Oh, and there's that time I used facilitative leadership to overcome that personal obstacle in an inclusive and reflective way. I remember it like it was yesterday. My car wouldn't start, presenting me with a critical personal obstacle... Luckily, my extensive training in facilitative leadership kicked in! I facilitated the towing of my car by calling--inclusively--every tow company in town. When all the tow trucks arrived at my house, we reflected on the importance of maintaining the integrity of each tow driver's commitment to getting my car to the shop. Granted, the first driver to arrive was much more enthusiastic about this reflection, seeing as how he already had my car hooked up to his truck, and the other drivers seemed to be a bit put out, but I truly feel that we all engaged in a meaningful and personally resonant exchange of perspectives. It is my hope that each driver left my house that much more personally, professionally, and yes, even spiritually empowered by our frank sharing of our separate yet legitimate thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. But I have to admit that I was suprised when someone keyed my car at the shop...