It could be worse...

OK, I just came across some handy-dandy information about Pensacola Christian College in Pensacola, FL...

As helpful as The Little Zen Companion is, there are simply times when I feel as if the pressures of life have just beaten me down, and Zen Readings--inspirational though they may be--just can't lift me back up. Well, now, I have the Rules of Pensacola Christian College to remind me that, no matter how bad things get, it could be worse...

For example, all of the following rules are upheld at PCC:

Pants may not be "frayed" at the bottom. OK, I've been meaning to get new jeans anyway.

No jeans, or double-stitched pants. Oh, damn.

[Listed under "There is to be no"]: Profanity. Oh. Damn. Whoops. Damn. Whoops. Damn. OK, I'll just shut up now.

OK, so maybe I'll just read.

A large amount of magazines are considered pornography and are not allowed, including: Men's Health, Muscle&Fitness, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, etc.

OK, maybe I'll listen to music.

Music is limited to classical, hymns, accepted "new age" and instrumental, and that distinctive "PCC sound."

OK, then maybe I'll play some music. It'll be nice music, soft, full of praise, you'll like it.

[Also listed under "There is to be no:"] Playing of instruments (of any kind) in your room, or outside. The only place to play on campus is in the practice rooms.

OK.... So if I can't read my Muscle & Fitness, and if I can't play my guitar, maybe I'll just read a book.

You may not go to a public library.

OK, I guess I'll just sit here in my room. Good thing it's nice outside.

You may not open your window.

But it's stuffy in here!

You may not adjust your thermostat.

OK, fine! I'll just sit here and...

You may not wipe "boogers" on the wall.

Fine!